The Bomb Squad

Ah my weekend filled with no responsibility and no basketball officially starts tomorrow at 12:20 when I leave my dreaded World Literature class. Since I'm ineligible, this means I don't get to travel, which means weekend road games turn into Ross's relaxation time. The same scenario played out for me all of last season too, as I was a redshirt at Nebraska. There honestly is not much that can beat this feeling except for, of course, a medium shrimp pizza from Big Fred's and a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm on a fantastic Sunday evening.

Practice wasn't too tough these past couple of days. Just some more defense in the half court, headlined by my intense ball pressure on the wings and my phenomenal double teams in the post. I was extremely disappointed, however, that I wasn't allowed to be Dayton's high flying forward, Chris Wright, on scout team. I thought I was most deserving of getting this position before the rest of the bomb-squad (scout team). My game and Wright's game are practically identical. He tries to dunk every time he touches the ball; I've never dunked in my life. He's 6'8'' and cut like a Hollister model; I'm 6'2" and cut like Heidi Klum. Last season he averaged 13.3 ppg and 6.6 boards; I retrieved a rebound and was called for a charge in our exhibition win over Chadron State. So like I said, practically identical. Wright's duties were given to Derek Sebastian, and I was relegated to standing in the corner. But I digress. Scout team was the one part of basketball I really looked forward to last season in Lincoln. I had the privelage of always being the other team's "shooter," because that's all I'm really good for. Which means I got the chance to portray some pretty good players. I once was Texas assassin A.J. Abrams, Texas Tech sharpshooter Alan Voskul, and Missouri Valley POY, Creighton guard Booker Woodfox among others. This means I have experience coming off a double screen or five. However, nothing especially exciting happened in this recent bout of scout team, so I'll have to let you know when I tear up the starters and the coaches become so impressed they give me a scholarship and beg the NCAA that I play this year for another time.

Myself and my fellow cronies (walk-ons) participated in an extremely bizarre, yet extremely intriguing drill early in practice today. Our center, Kenny Lawson, would just stand on the block as we stood with the ball at the three point line, and simply wait for us to attack him as we tried to finish a layup and he tried to block our shot. It's literally the equivalent of you and your little brother playing on a Fisher Price hoop in the basement and you demanding that your brother stand under the hoop so you could dunk on and absolutely humiliate him. I planned on doing the exact same thing to Kenny. What an awesome opportunity to show my leaping ability and my excellent body control. Only problem is, I lack both of those things, so my attempted dunks on Kenny mostly ended in me getting swatted badly and awkwardly throwing my forearm into Kenny's chest. My athleticism has failed me yet again.

Lastly, check out this awesome youtube video our manager, Brian, showed me earlier today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4giMyqv0qc. Simply stunning. Josh Jones Quote of the Day: "Wipe me down." For those of you wondering what that means, it's a reference to the popular 2007 hit, "Wipe Me Down," by rapper Lil' Boosie, meaning he's hot or on fire so he needs someone to "wipe him down." Again, I don't make these things up.

Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.