So I'm deeply apologetic about the lack of updates onto the blog. This time, there isn't really an excuse. I was just way too lazy to bust out my computer and give my dedicated fans thrity minutes of my time so they can have a lifetime full of memories. So I apologize for my lack of dedication to his blog; you deserve better. I, however, do not apologize to those people who left our game against Nebraska early. I witnessed droves of people headed for the gates Sunday with less than a minute to go and the competition no more than a six point game. Unacceptable. By the time you get to the car and get settled and rev the engine, the game has probably ended and there's bound to be people who happened to park in front of you in the parking garage, so therefore there is bound to be some people who watched the end of the game and got to their car before you even started your car even though you left early. This means that you basically will not get the head start on traffic that you anticipated because there is always bound to be people who parked much closer to the exit than you did. Therefore, quit leaving games early. It does nobody any good.
As most of you probably know, we struggled at the Old Spice Classic in Orlando. No, like we struggled. As in Eighth Place struggled. Dead last. Yikes. We lost a heartbreaker in overtime to Michigan, got blown out by Xavier, and lost to Iona in the ever so inspirational Seventh Place game. My awesome Thanksgiving of doing nothing suddenly morphed into school combined with hellish practices. Practice ended up not being as hard as I had thought, and we started to focus on getting out of a 2-4 slump and gearing up for my former runnin' mates, Nebraska. Scout team was a breath of fresh air for me. I remembered the old motion offense well and most of the sets so I just went out and played ball. Fun times.
The day of the game was pretty fun for me as I got to see and talk to all the managers I was friendly with and all the assistant coaches and whatnot from Nebraska. It was definitely good to see all those guys again. Then the game got rolling and The Klawson (Kenny's license plate is KLAWSON) had himself a Klawsome game (I'm sorry that was terrible). 25 points and ten boards for the big fella as we ended up handing the children of corn a 67 61 defeat at the Qwest. Surprisingly, the game wasn't even sold out, but I'm sure Husker fans were still feeling the effects of Hunter Lawrence's game-winning field goal and were drinking themselves away in the abyss of a Jerry Jones restaurant in the middle of the Dallas airport. (For the record, I'm a Husker football fan and was deeply disappointed in the outcome of that game. For those of you diehard Jays fans, if that makes me a "Jaysker," as you guys like to call them, then so be it. Until Creighton brings out the helmets and quarterback sleeves from the depths of the basement in the Old Gym, I will continue to be a Husker football fan).
Not the Old Spice Classic, not our win over Nebraska, not the dramatic Texas win over Nebraska in the Big XII Championship; no, the most interesting and intriguing thing to happen to me in the last two weeks was a prank phone call from...you guessed it: Dana Altman. I discussed this two posts ago about the BlackBerry application and the prank phone calls to Kenny that would show up as Coach Altman's number. Well, Coach Altman striked again over Thanksgiving. I received a call from him around roughly 12:30 a.m. and knowing this vulgar and irresponsible activity much too well, did not answer. A voicemail was left and said, "Hey ross, Coach Altman here. Uh just wanted to tell you to tuck your ****** string in. Happy Thanksgiving." For those of you left bewildered as to what that means, well, Coach Altman's pet peeve is if your string is untucked on your practice shorts. No, I'm not joking. Casey Harriman is quoted as saying, "It bothers me that it bothers him so much." Me too, Casey, me too. Although it was absolutely hysterical, I did not appreciate the prank call and am still somewhat, sorta looking for the culprits even though I have a strong vibe I already know they are. But I will press on.
Finally, I'll end this lengthy post with a gem of a Josh Jones quote. In World Literature class last week, our professor, Fr. Kestermeier posed the question as to what a gurdle was. Josh proceeded to raise his hand and said, and I quote, "Uh yeah, in my personal opinion, I think a gurdle is worn by girls that got a lotta bootydo." The entire class beffudled as to what the term "bootydo" meant, Josh explained that, "bootydo mean that she got more stomach than her booty do." I couldn't make this up if I tried. So to all of those women out there wearing gurdles because of their "bootydo"...Simple Plays, ladies, simple plays.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Turkey, Basketball, and Black Friday.
My thanksgiving break has been phenomenal thus far. As I've previously mentioned, since the team is Orlando and since I'm not allowed to play this year (the NCAA is trying to keep as many of us talented stars in college as possible, and hey, I can't blame them really; it's tough being this talented and have to be relegated to the college game), I've had multiple days of doing nothing here in Omaha, and I have enjoyed it immensely. I'll give you a little run down of my break and the team's break so far:
Tuesday- Me: Went to class and then had a fabulous lunch at Noodles and Co. Ran some errands with my buddy Ben, and then proceeded to go home and watch the first four episodes of the first season of Entourage. Saw Couples Retreat that night. Team: Traveled to Orlando for three hours and most likely didn't have much time to themselves Tuesday. Bummer.
Wednesday- Me: Woke up and watched TV. Went to lunch with my dad, then came home and watched some more TV. I did manage to go workout at Westside late afternoon then hung out with some friends that night. Team: Practiced during the day and had to shoot free throws and go over Michigan's stuff. In bed early.
Thursday- Me: Woke up and watched our game on ESPN2. Rough loss. I thought we played well, but in the end, a little too much Manny Harris. After the game I went to Westside and played 2 on 2 with my younger brother, my 47 year old father, and younger cousin. My cousin and I vs the bad guys. You don't need to ask nor do I need to tell you who won. You should already know that answer. After the heated 2 on 2 match, which had to be cut short because my dad's knees function worse than my dead grandfather's, it was time to grub. Had myself some turkey, mashed potatoes, and the finest Stuffing this side of Zorinsky Lake. The fam concluded the night by going to see The Blind Side. Team: Woke up and played the 15th ranked team in the nation. Needless to say, my day and their's were much different.
Friday- Me: Woke up early and went shopping with my mother. No, I'm not joking. Fantastic deals at Younkers. Ended up getting a $200 coat marked down to $60 and a nice pair of jeans. Good work Ross. Watched our disappointing game against Xavier and watched the Big Twelve North champs take care of Ralphie. Team: Played Xavier.
So, as you can see, my break and the team's break have been somewhat different. Hopefully, the guys in Orlando can bounce back and get us back to.500 with a win over Iona Sunday. Been a rough couple days for them down there. We play the 'Skers next Sunday at the Qwest, which should be rockin. Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving and I hope your break has been as lazy as mine has. As always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Tuesday- Me: Went to class and then had a fabulous lunch at Noodles and Co. Ran some errands with my buddy Ben, and then proceeded to go home and watch the first four episodes of the first season of Entourage. Saw Couples Retreat that night. Team: Traveled to Orlando for three hours and most likely didn't have much time to themselves Tuesday. Bummer.
Wednesday- Me: Woke up and watched TV. Went to lunch with my dad, then came home and watched some more TV. I did manage to go workout at Westside late afternoon then hung out with some friends that night. Team: Practiced during the day and had to shoot free throws and go over Michigan's stuff. In bed early.
Thursday- Me: Woke up and watched our game on ESPN2. Rough loss. I thought we played well, but in the end, a little too much Manny Harris. After the game I went to Westside and played 2 on 2 with my younger brother, my 47 year old father, and younger cousin. My cousin and I vs the bad guys. You don't need to ask nor do I need to tell you who won. You should already know that answer. After the heated 2 on 2 match, which had to be cut short because my dad's knees function worse than my dead grandfather's, it was time to grub. Had myself some turkey, mashed potatoes, and the finest Stuffing this side of Zorinsky Lake. The fam concluded the night by going to see The Blind Side. Team: Woke up and played the 15th ranked team in the nation. Needless to say, my day and their's were much different.
Friday- Me: Woke up early and went shopping with my mother. No, I'm not joking. Fantastic deals at Younkers. Ended up getting a $200 coat marked down to $60 and a nice pair of jeans. Good work Ross. Watched our disappointing game against Xavier and watched the Big Twelve North champs take care of Ralphie. Team: Played Xavier.
So, as you can see, my break and the team's break have been somewhat different. Hopefully, the guys in Orlando can bounce back and get us back to.500 with a win over Iona Sunday. Been a rough couple days for them down there. We play the 'Skers next Sunday at the Qwest, which should be rockin. Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving and I hope your break has been as lazy as mine has. As always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Nearing Orlando and Thanksgiving
As most of you already know, the squad is traveling to Orlando, Florida on Tuesday to play in the popular and competitive Old Spice Classic. First up on the slate is 15th ranked Michigan, who is currently 2 and 0 against teams you've more than likely never heard of. Nonetheless, Michigan is athletic, talented, and well coached. Guard Mannie Harris has a legitimate shot at being a first round draft pick in the upcoming NBA Draft, so we'll have our hands full. However, before we move on to Orlando, we have to take care of business against Arkansas-Little Rock this afternoon. UALR beat us at their place last season and out-rebounded us by twenty, so all that's been talked about all week in practice is "we gotta pop somebody on our blockouts fellas," courtesy of Coach Altman. I wish I could get out there and crack some skulls and gravitate to the ball like Dennis Rodman gravitates towards the ball and drugs, but I can't, so no sense in wishing what if.
In more interesting news, Justin Carter cut off his ever so popular and symbolic dreadlocks yesterday afternoon. Besides the fact he now looks like Josh Jones and I thought we had added a new player to our team when I first saw him, it's a nice, new look for Justin. Josh Jones, in fact, took Justin to his barber and said, "my barber was gettin at J dawg." Translation: Josh's barber was making fun of and playing around with Justin as he was cutting his long locks. Amongst the many comparisons Josh's barber made between Justin and other pop culture icons as his hair was getting shorter and shorter by the minute, I thought the funniest were '98 Kobe and Jaleel White, who played Steve Urkel in Family Matters. People will be shocked when they see Justin at the game today. Whoopi Goldberg, as Cavel calls him, has retired.
Amongst all of the crap Kenny Lawson has to put up with from everyone on the team day in and day out, today's version of crap was probably one of the most hysterical. Evidently, if you have a BlackBerry, you can call people from other people's numbers in your phone book. I have no clue how it works, but you can call someone and it will show up on the caller id on their phone as someone else's number. Seeing this as a phenomenal opportunity to prank call Kenny, Chad Millard (Chad wants his alias to be known as Billy Walsh, and yes, I know that the purpose of an alias is so that nobody will know who you really are, but you wouldn't understand anything if I started calling Chad Billy Walsh from now on without giving you a head's up first, so from now on, Chad's new name and alias (sort of) on this blog will be, Billy Walsh) and Casey Harriman prank called Kenny as Coach Altman, which Kenny didn't pick up on the first three times he answered, or he is just dumb enough to continually pick up the phone when it, clearly, is not Coach Altman. The final time Kenny answered the phone, Billy Walsh and Casey claimed that they were Casey's grandmother, finally sending Kenny into an outrage, claiming Billy and Casey were liars and that it wasn't Coach Altman, nor was it Casey's grandmother, on the other end of the phone (Ya think, Kenny?). Kenny was ranting in the locker room at this morning's shootaround about how somebody prank called him claiming they were Coach Altman, and without any anonymous tips, blamed the horrific event on Billy and Casey. The two culprits stood firm, however, and Kenny couldn't come up with a solution as to who was, in fact, the infamous Altman caller. I'm sure there will be many more Altman to Kenny pranks in the future, so I will try to keep you updated as much as possible.
As I end this most recent post, I encourage you to support the squad over thanksgiving in Orlando and cheer your blue little hearts for the Jays!!!!!!!!!! Yay!! No, but seriously, please do. I will leave you with this absurdly hilarious YouTube clip of Leon, the African-American man currently living with Larry David on the past couple of seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm, in the Best of Leon. Enjoy, and as always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
In more interesting news, Justin Carter cut off his ever so popular and symbolic dreadlocks yesterday afternoon. Besides the fact he now looks like Josh Jones and I thought we had added a new player to our team when I first saw him, it's a nice, new look for Justin. Josh Jones, in fact, took Justin to his barber and said, "my barber was gettin at J dawg." Translation: Josh's barber was making fun of and playing around with Justin as he was cutting his long locks. Amongst the many comparisons Josh's barber made between Justin and other pop culture icons as his hair was getting shorter and shorter by the minute, I thought the funniest were '98 Kobe and Jaleel White, who played Steve Urkel in Family Matters. People will be shocked when they see Justin at the game today. Whoopi Goldberg, as Cavel calls him, has retired.
Amongst all of the crap Kenny Lawson has to put up with from everyone on the team day in and day out, today's version of crap was probably one of the most hysterical. Evidently, if you have a BlackBerry, you can call people from other people's numbers in your phone book. I have no clue how it works, but you can call someone and it will show up on the caller id on their phone as someone else's number. Seeing this as a phenomenal opportunity to prank call Kenny, Chad Millard (Chad wants his alias to be known as Billy Walsh, and yes, I know that the purpose of an alias is so that nobody will know who you really are, but you wouldn't understand anything if I started calling Chad Billy Walsh from now on without giving you a head's up first, so from now on, Chad's new name and alias (sort of) on this blog will be, Billy Walsh) and Casey Harriman prank called Kenny as Coach Altman, which Kenny didn't pick up on the first three times he answered, or he is just dumb enough to continually pick up the phone when it, clearly, is not Coach Altman. The final time Kenny answered the phone, Billy Walsh and Casey claimed that they were Casey's grandmother, finally sending Kenny into an outrage, claiming Billy and Casey were liars and that it wasn't Coach Altman, nor was it Casey's grandmother, on the other end of the phone (Ya think, Kenny?). Kenny was ranting in the locker room at this morning's shootaround about how somebody prank called him claiming they were Coach Altman, and without any anonymous tips, blamed the horrific event on Billy and Casey. The two culprits stood firm, however, and Kenny couldn't come up with a solution as to who was, in fact, the infamous Altman caller. I'm sure there will be many more Altman to Kenny pranks in the future, so I will try to keep you updated as much as possible.
As I end this most recent post, I encourage you to support the squad over thanksgiving in Orlando and cheer your blue little hearts for the Jays!!!!!!!!!! Yay!! No, but seriously, please do. I will leave you with this absurdly hilarious YouTube clip of Leon, the African-American man currently living with Larry David on the past couple of seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm, in the Best of Leon. Enjoy, and as always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sharpshooting Newbies
I know what you're thinking..."Thank the sweet Lord because I couldn't last another day without this hysterical, witty, charming, and surprisingly yummy blog." Ross is finally updating the beyond popular Simple Plays blog, ladies and gentlemen. I apologize to all of my devoted fans who have been in agony since last Thursday just simply waiting for an update to give happiness and hope to their lives. Thing is, my computer became overrun with more viruses than an Atlantic City hooker, so I had to take it to the phenomenal people at DoIt Computer Repairs on Creighton's campus. It took a few days, but I finally got her back tonight, so I can end your agony. Yet again, I apologize for the week long absence.
Anyways, back to basketball. As most of you probably know, we lost at Dayton last Saturday afternoon 90 80. We came out strong and even held a ten point lead at one point in the first half. In the end, we couldn't muster enough stops to stop the high flying Flyers. (Ha! Pun intended. I crack myself up. By the way, how'd you like my coachspeak?) Although we lost the first game on the slate, we redeemed ourselves Tuesday night by beating the Florida A&M Rattlers 78 53 at the Q. (Sorry Cavs fans.) We've had a couple of pleasant surprises to start the season: Ethan Wragge and Darryl Ashford. I'm too lazy to look up the stats, but they've both scored more than ten points in each of our two games, respectively. Ethan has made five of his first seven threes and I want to say Darryl has made at least five threes so far too. Again, too lazy to look up stats, so feel free to correct me. (Because I know how you people like to flood the blog with comments and thoughts.) Let's get to know Darryl and Ethan a little better, shall we?
Ethan Wragge came out of his mother's womb already launching more three's than your average Over-40 men's city league game. The sharpshooter from Eden Prairie, Minnesota has a gift from the big Man above. I don't think I've personally witnessed a better shooter in my life. I also don't think I've ever seen the kid take a dribble, but hey, neither does Dwight Howard and he turned out alright, didn't he? Ethan should have a fantastic career at CU and could challenge Kyle Korver's all-time three's mark, which is pretty impressive.
Darryl Ashford's game is smoother than a Soulja Boy rap song and his hops are even crazier. Which you wouldn't know if you saw the way he runs up and down the floor. It's almost like he already needs a hip replacement. It's painful for me to watch him run; I can't imagine what it's actually like for him to be doing it. However, despite the fact Chaz Bono could probably beat Darryl in a race (0r myself, for that matter), he has sneaky hops and and a sneaky jumpshot. As a matter of fact, he's probably one of the best leapers on the team, and he seems to almost float in mid-air, reaching higher and higher every second before he dunks. Also, if I had a dollar for every time Darryl said, "You fresh," I think I'd have enough money to out-fresh Paris Hilton. So that's Darryl Ashford in a nutshell. Slow, sneaky athletic, and fresh.
Practice has been, for the most part, fairly unentertaining lately. I've been getting an absurd amount of stops during scout team defense, but I always do that, so that's not really news now is it? We had to condition after practice today, and let's just say I can think of 168,987 more things I'd rather be doing than "foot fires." Anyways, hopefully I owned my philosophy test and as always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Anyways, back to basketball. As most of you probably know, we lost at Dayton last Saturday afternoon 90 80. We came out strong and even held a ten point lead at one point in the first half. In the end, we couldn't muster enough stops to stop the high flying Flyers. (Ha! Pun intended. I crack myself up. By the way, how'd you like my coachspeak?) Although we lost the first game on the slate, we redeemed ourselves Tuesday night by beating the Florida A&M Rattlers 78 53 at the Q. (Sorry Cavs fans.) We've had a couple of pleasant surprises to start the season: Ethan Wragge and Darryl Ashford. I'm too lazy to look up the stats, but they've both scored more than ten points in each of our two games, respectively. Ethan has made five of his first seven threes and I want to say Darryl has made at least five threes so far too. Again, too lazy to look up stats, so feel free to correct me. (Because I know how you people like to flood the blog with comments and thoughts.) Let's get to know Darryl and Ethan a little better, shall we?
Ethan Wragge came out of his mother's womb already launching more three's than your average Over-40 men's city league game. The sharpshooter from Eden Prairie, Minnesota has a gift from the big Man above. I don't think I've personally witnessed a better shooter in my life. I also don't think I've ever seen the kid take a dribble, but hey, neither does Dwight Howard and he turned out alright, didn't he? Ethan should have a fantastic career at CU and could challenge Kyle Korver's all-time three's mark, which is pretty impressive.
Darryl Ashford's game is smoother than a Soulja Boy rap song and his hops are even crazier. Which you wouldn't know if you saw the way he runs up and down the floor. It's almost like he already needs a hip replacement. It's painful for me to watch him run; I can't imagine what it's actually like for him to be doing it. However, despite the fact Chaz Bono could probably beat Darryl in a race (0r myself, for that matter), he has sneaky hops and and a sneaky jumpshot. As a matter of fact, he's probably one of the best leapers on the team, and he seems to almost float in mid-air, reaching higher and higher every second before he dunks. Also, if I had a dollar for every time Darryl said, "You fresh," I think I'd have enough money to out-fresh Paris Hilton. So that's Darryl Ashford in a nutshell. Slow, sneaky athletic, and fresh.
Practice has been, for the most part, fairly unentertaining lately. I've been getting an absurd amount of stops during scout team defense, but I always do that, so that's not really news now is it? We had to condition after practice today, and let's just say I can think of 168,987 more things I'd rather be doing than "foot fires." Anyways, hopefully I owned my philosophy test and as always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Bomb Squad
Ah my weekend filled with no responsibility and no basketball officially starts tomorrow at 12:20 when I leave my dreaded World Literature class. Since I'm ineligible, this means I don't get to travel, which means weekend road games turn into Ross's relaxation time. The same scenario played out for me all of last season too, as I was a redshirt at Nebraska. There honestly is not much that can beat this feeling except for, of course, a medium shrimp pizza from Big Fred's and a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm on a fantastic Sunday evening.
Practice wasn't too tough these past couple of days. Just some more defense in the half court, headlined by my intense ball pressure on the wings and my phenomenal double teams in the post. I was extremely disappointed, however, that I wasn't allowed to be Dayton's high flying forward, Chris Wright, on scout team. I thought I was most deserving of getting this position before the rest of the bomb-squad (scout team). My game and Wright's game are practically identical. He tries to dunk every time he touches the ball; I've never dunked in my life. He's 6'8'' and cut like a Hollister model; I'm 6'2" and cut like Heidi Klum. Last season he averaged 13.3 ppg and 6.6 boards; I retrieved a rebound and was called for a charge in our exhibition win over Chadron State. So like I said, practically identical. Wright's duties were given to Derek Sebastian, and I was relegated to standing in the corner. But I digress. Scout team was the one part of basketball I really looked forward to last season in Lincoln. I had the privelage of always being the other team's "shooter," because that's all I'm really good for. Which means I got the chance to portray some pretty good players. I once was Texas assassin A.J. Abrams, Texas Tech sharpshooter Alan Voskul, and Missouri Valley POY, Creighton guard Booker Woodfox among others. This means I have experience coming off a double screen or five. However, nothing especially exciting happened in this recent bout of scout team, so I'll have to let you know when I tear up the starters and the coaches become so impressed they give me a scholarship and beg the NCAA that I play this year for another time.
Myself and my fellow cronies (walk-ons) participated in an extremely bizarre, yet extremely intriguing drill early in practice today. Our center, Kenny Lawson, would just stand on the block as we stood with the ball at the three point line, and simply wait for us to attack him as we tried to finish a layup and he tried to block our shot. It's literally the equivalent of you and your little brother playing on a Fisher Price hoop in the basement and you demanding that your brother stand under the hoop so you could dunk on and absolutely humiliate him. I planned on doing the exact same thing to Kenny. What an awesome opportunity to show my leaping ability and my excellent body control. Only problem is, I lack both of those things, so my attempted dunks on Kenny mostly ended in me getting swatted badly and awkwardly throwing my forearm into Kenny's chest. My athleticism has failed me yet again.
Lastly, check out this awesome youtube video our manager, Brian, showed me earlier today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4giMyqv0qc. Simply stunning. Josh Jones Quote of the Day: "Wipe me down." For those of you wondering what that means, it's a reference to the popular 2007 hit, "Wipe Me Down," by rapper Lil' Boosie, meaning he's hot or on fire so he needs someone to "wipe him down." Again, I don't make these things up.
Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Practice wasn't too tough these past couple of days. Just some more defense in the half court, headlined by my intense ball pressure on the wings and my phenomenal double teams in the post. I was extremely disappointed, however, that I wasn't allowed to be Dayton's high flying forward, Chris Wright, on scout team. I thought I was most deserving of getting this position before the rest of the bomb-squad (scout team). My game and Wright's game are practically identical. He tries to dunk every time he touches the ball; I've never dunked in my life. He's 6'8'' and cut like a Hollister model; I'm 6'2" and cut like Heidi Klum. Last season he averaged 13.3 ppg and 6.6 boards; I retrieved a rebound and was called for a charge in our exhibition win over Chadron State. So like I said, practically identical. Wright's duties were given to Derek Sebastian, and I was relegated to standing in the corner. But I digress. Scout team was the one part of basketball I really looked forward to last season in Lincoln. I had the privelage of always being the other team's "shooter," because that's all I'm really good for. Which means I got the chance to portray some pretty good players. I once was Texas assassin A.J. Abrams, Texas Tech sharpshooter Alan Voskul, and Missouri Valley POY, Creighton guard Booker Woodfox among others. This means I have experience coming off a double screen or five. However, nothing especially exciting happened in this recent bout of scout team, so I'll have to let you know when I tear up the starters and the coaches become so impressed they give me a scholarship and beg the NCAA that I play this year for another time.
Myself and my fellow cronies (walk-ons) participated in an extremely bizarre, yet extremely intriguing drill early in practice today. Our center, Kenny Lawson, would just stand on the block as we stood with the ball at the three point line, and simply wait for us to attack him as we tried to finish a layup and he tried to block our shot. It's literally the equivalent of you and your little brother playing on a Fisher Price hoop in the basement and you demanding that your brother stand under the hoop so you could dunk on and absolutely humiliate him. I planned on doing the exact same thing to Kenny. What an awesome opportunity to show my leaping ability and my excellent body control. Only problem is, I lack both of those things, so my attempted dunks on Kenny mostly ended in me getting swatted badly and awkwardly throwing my forearm into Kenny's chest. My athleticism has failed me yet again.
Lastly, check out this awesome youtube video our manager, Brian, showed me earlier today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4giMyqv0qc. Simply stunning. Josh Jones Quote of the Day: "Wipe me down." For those of you wondering what that means, it's a reference to the popular 2007 hit, "Wipe Me Down," by rapper Lil' Boosie, meaning he's hot or on fire so he needs someone to "wipe him down." Again, I don't make these things up.
Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Look into My Eyes: A Glimpse into the Life of Matthew Dorwart
As the title suggests, my name is Matthew Dorwart. I am from Sidney, Nebraska. It's a town of 8,000 people out in the panhandle. I have 2 older brothers and an older sister. I came to Creighton for school, and I decided to try out for basketball. Some days I really question that decision and other days I think I made the best choice. If you look at my stats from high school you would probably question how I am playing on a Division I basketball team, or any college basketball team for that matter. I didn't play any varsity until my senior year. I started every game and averaged something like 8 points and 5 rebounds a game. Not exactly blue chip type numbers. However, I do possess a few qualities that not many people do. I am tall and I can shoot. Even though I am 6'9" I would rather shoot 3's than post anyone up.
While some of the things Ross said earlier were true, many were false. I am 6'9" and I am definitely not physically imposing by any means. But, I do weigh a solid 200 lbs. God didn't bless me with the ability to gain weight. I do however play smart and use what weight I have to help me out. I am about working smarter, not harder. Also, I am not that uncoordinated of a person. I like to think that for my size I have fairly good body control. But that is what I see through my eyes. For all I know I could be the biggest doofus ever.
Ross and I have discussed having an unathletic award for our team. The 2 front runners for the championship would be Ross and I. We definitely aren't the prototypical college basketball players, and we typically have some epic battles for not finishing last in sprints. Well, not for last, but for second to last. Last place is always Kenny Lawson.
From here on out Ross and I may use the word "hurt" fairly often. When we use it we are probably referring to the word that our teammates use. "Hurt" means that you are ugly. Or , in other words, your face hurts. I don't make this stuff up folks. It is word that is used more than any other on our team, expect maybe "simple" and "plays".
I hope I gave you a little incite into my life. I would like to leave you with a Josh Jones quote, "I would personally like to thank all of the 'hurts' who came to my birthday party this weekend." Phenomenal.
Dayton, I'm Coming for You
Actually I'm not Dayton, Ohio. You dodged a bullet. Due to my ineligibilty to play this season, I will be watching the Dayton game from home Saturday afternoon. It's too bad because I probably would have sent shockwaves through the University of Dayton Arena with my incredible leaping ability, my defensive prowess, and my knack for hitting clutch shots in front 13,000+ people. So congrats, Brian Gregory, you lucked out.
After doing some extensive research (just basically what I think I know about Dayton), I've concluded they like headbands and dunking all over your face. So do I Flyers, so do I. In all seriousness, Dayton is a good team. They wouldn't be nationally ranked if they weren't, so we'll have our hands full. However, we're an extremely talented bunch and I have the upmost confidence we'll go in there and perform well.
Dayon, Ohio is basically a poor man's Omaha. (Every city is though in my book.) It's got a respectable skyline, a private university of Catholic association in the middle of the city, and a solid mid-major basketball program with a good fan base. Dayton also lays claim to the Wright Brothers, Rob Dyrdek, Roger Clemens, and Rob Lowe. Interesting group. I thought Dayton would give me more than that when I typed in Dayton, Ohio into Wikipedia.
Omaha, like Dayton, has a respectable skyline, a private univeristy of Catholic association in the middle of the city, and a solid mid-major basketball program with a good fan base. However, Omaha also has Warren Buffett, Conor Oberst, 311, Nick Nolte, Gabrielle Union, Big Fred's, La Casa, and an Indie Scene that will make you want to buy the latest pair of skinny jeans, an acoustic guitar, and some Marlboro Lights. Owned.
Anyways, now that we have settled that Dayton is far inferior to Omaha, we can get down to business. As I said in my last post, I'll be playing a hefty amount of strictly defense in this week's practices. Today's practice was no different. Myself and three other of my fellow walk-ons played multiple possessions of halfcourt defense with our grad assistant and former Euroleague stud, Mike Jones. Let's just say Mike bailed us out more than once. But you don't want to hear about me shutting people down sans Bruce Bowen, you already knew I could do that. The frustrating part of today's practice came at the very end, when we had to run a "10." A "10" is basically exactly what it implies. You have 60 seconds to run down the court ten times. (Down is one, back is two, down again is three, you get the picture.) Although I'm extremely physically gifted, I'm no Usain Bolt. I had been sitting on the sidelines for about 40 minutes straight while the main ten guys scrimmaged, so my legs were shot by the time Coach Altman told us to "get on the line." Coach Altman said he wanted the "tough" guys up first, and while that certainly does not apply to myself, I shuffled up there anyways because I wanted to get done faster. The shotclock was set at 30, so I had originally thought we were just going to run a "suicide." As everyone in my group took off downcourt, I had stopped at the free throw line, thinking we were doing a suicide. Coach Altman informed us after we had taken off that we were, in fact, running a "10." Phenomenal. So my original thinking that we were running a suicide coupled with the fact that my legs felt like my great aunt's peach-flavored jello put me way behind, and at that point, there was no catching up, trust me. I ended up making the 60 seconds, but not before looking like an unathletic bafoon in the process. (Sigh.) Such is life.
A couple of tidbits here: We're going to start featuring a quote from Creighton's very own Josh "I am going to say literally anything that pops into my head, I have no filter between what my mind wants me to say and what I actually should say" Jones in each entry from now on. Love ya Josh. Also, Matt's first entry is coming soon, I promise. Believe the hype.
Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
After doing some extensive research (just basically what I think I know about Dayton), I've concluded they like headbands and dunking all over your face. So do I Flyers, so do I. In all seriousness, Dayton is a good team. They wouldn't be nationally ranked if they weren't, so we'll have our hands full. However, we're an extremely talented bunch and I have the upmost confidence we'll go in there and perform well.
Dayon, Ohio is basically a poor man's Omaha. (Every city is though in my book.) It's got a respectable skyline, a private university of Catholic association in the middle of the city, and a solid mid-major basketball program with a good fan base. Dayton also lays claim to the Wright Brothers, Rob Dyrdek, Roger Clemens, and Rob Lowe. Interesting group. I thought Dayton would give me more than that when I typed in Dayton, Ohio into Wikipedia.
Omaha, like Dayton, has a respectable skyline, a private univeristy of Catholic association in the middle of the city, and a solid mid-major basketball program with a good fan base. However, Omaha also has Warren Buffett, Conor Oberst, 311, Nick Nolte, Gabrielle Union, Big Fred's, La Casa, and an Indie Scene that will make you want to buy the latest pair of skinny jeans, an acoustic guitar, and some Marlboro Lights. Owned.
Anyways, now that we have settled that Dayton is far inferior to Omaha, we can get down to business. As I said in my last post, I'll be playing a hefty amount of strictly defense in this week's practices. Today's practice was no different. Myself and three other of my fellow walk-ons played multiple possessions of halfcourt defense with our grad assistant and former Euroleague stud, Mike Jones. Let's just say Mike bailed us out more than once. But you don't want to hear about me shutting people down sans Bruce Bowen, you already knew I could do that. The frustrating part of today's practice came at the very end, when we had to run a "10." A "10" is basically exactly what it implies. You have 60 seconds to run down the court ten times. (Down is one, back is two, down again is three, you get the picture.) Although I'm extremely physically gifted, I'm no Usain Bolt. I had been sitting on the sidelines for about 40 minutes straight while the main ten guys scrimmaged, so my legs were shot by the time Coach Altman told us to "get on the line." Coach Altman said he wanted the "tough" guys up first, and while that certainly does not apply to myself, I shuffled up there anyways because I wanted to get done faster. The shotclock was set at 30, so I had originally thought we were just going to run a "suicide." As everyone in my group took off downcourt, I had stopped at the free throw line, thinking we were doing a suicide. Coach Altman informed us after we had taken off that we were, in fact, running a "10." Phenomenal. So my original thinking that we were running a suicide coupled with the fact that my legs felt like my great aunt's peach-flavored jello put me way behind, and at that point, there was no catching up, trust me. I ended up making the 60 seconds, but not before looking like an unathletic bafoon in the process. (Sigh.) Such is life.
A couple of tidbits here: We're going to start featuring a quote from Creighton's very own Josh "I am going to say literally anything that pops into my head, I have no filter between what my mind wants me to say and what I actually should say" Jones in each entry from now on. Love ya Josh. Also, Matt's first entry is coming soon, I promise. Believe the hype.
Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
College Basketball Underway
The college basketball season has officially started. This is a great time of year. The intensity and stakes are at its peak yet again in sports. College basketball has started, the NBA is starting to get into full swing, college football teams are seperating themselves from one another, Andre Agassi is telling the world about how he hated a sport that made him a multi-millionaire, and the Lions, Chiefs, Raiders, and Rams still suck.
The 2K Sports Coaches vs. Cancer Classic got the college basketball season rolling last night with some impressive victories by some of the nation's top teams. North Carolina started its title defense rocking some sick retro jerseys by defeating Isiah "Insert Joke Here" Thomas and the Florida International Panthers 88 72. Syracuse Head Coach Jim Boeheim captured his 800th career win via his Orange defeating Albany 75 43. 17th ranked Ohio State bombed on Alcorn State 100 60 behind guard Evan Turner's triple double. And last night's west coast game concluded with 12th ranked Cal squeaking by Murray State 75 70. The next round of games continues Wednesday for the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic.
This week, we're preparing for our road game Saturday at 22nd ranked Dayton. Translation for me: about 50 consecutive possessions of defense at today's practice, follwed by 60 tomorrow and maybe 75 Thursday. Fantastic. Nothing gets me more fired up than fighting through double screens, attempting to box out someone that was more athletic at the age of 12 than I currently am, and slapping the floor pretending I'm determined to get a defensive stop. (I said that last part mostly to be cool, because it genuinely does make me mad when my man scores.)
We're a little thin up front right now, with Chad Millard having a nagging foot injury, and Justin Carter being sidelined 2-4 weeks with a knee injury. Oh yeah, Casey Harriman also has Swine Flu. Yuck. However, this means potential good news for my good buddy and fellow walk-on, Matt Dorwart. Matt played 7 minutes in our exhibition against UNO on Sunday due to foul trouble to our big men and injuries, and actually contributed two threes and received a loud ovation from the Qwest crowd when he got subbed out. He banked in his first three from the top of the key and it was hysterical. He was completely wide open for his next three from the corner, and the very next possession was completely wide open again from the other corner. (The ball was halfway down the hoop before coming out, I swear.) Matt's eyes were beaming brighter than the look on my face when my mother makes pot roast. Everyone was happy for the kid. Matt is actually going to start contributing to the blog some, so you'll get to know him a little better. But before Matt tells you a little bit about himself, I'm going to give you a synopsis on Matt through my eyes.
Matt Dorwart is 6'9'' and your chubby third-grade cousin Joseph probably weighs more than he does. Matt is thinner than Lindsay Lohan's drug dealer's drug dealer, and his feet hit the ground with a loud thump like a clydesdale every time he runs. However, dude can stroke. His jumpshot is more beautiful than the time Rachel McAdams embraced Ryan Gosling in the pouring rain, locking lips with him in The Notebook. (That was beautiful, admit it.) He's also got a nice array of moves around the basket and can "pick and pop" with the best of em. Matt's a redshirt freshman from Sidney, Nebraska and grew up milking Holsteins, driving the tractor with his dad, and dreaming of playing defense for the Blackshirts and Tommy O. (Just kidding.) I honestly don't know much of Matt's background, except for the fact that his parents must be transparent, because there is no other possible way Matt could be as white and pasty as he is. Anyway, he's a good dude and hopefully Jays fans will get a chance to know him a little better this year. Matt's going to tell you a little bit about himself and the squad in the next entry, so enjoy.
Also, if you can find anything funnier than Dick Vitale's Twitter (http://twitter.com/dickiev) and his excessive use of exclamation points, please let me know; because as of right now, not much can top it.
The 2K Sports Coaches vs. Cancer Classic got the college basketball season rolling last night with some impressive victories by some of the nation's top teams. North Carolina started its title defense rocking some sick retro jerseys by defeating Isiah "Insert Joke Here" Thomas and the Florida International Panthers 88 72. Syracuse Head Coach Jim Boeheim captured his 800th career win via his Orange defeating Albany 75 43. 17th ranked Ohio State bombed on Alcorn State 100 60 behind guard Evan Turner's triple double. And last night's west coast game concluded with 12th ranked Cal squeaking by Murray State 75 70. The next round of games continues Wednesday for the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic.
This week, we're preparing for our road game Saturday at 22nd ranked Dayton. Translation for me: about 50 consecutive possessions of defense at today's practice, follwed by 60 tomorrow and maybe 75 Thursday. Fantastic. Nothing gets me more fired up than fighting through double screens, attempting to box out someone that was more athletic at the age of 12 than I currently am, and slapping the floor pretending I'm determined to get a defensive stop. (I said that last part mostly to be cool, because it genuinely does make me mad when my man scores.)
We're a little thin up front right now, with Chad Millard having a nagging foot injury, and Justin Carter being sidelined 2-4 weeks with a knee injury. Oh yeah, Casey Harriman also has Swine Flu. Yuck. However, this means potential good news for my good buddy and fellow walk-on, Matt Dorwart. Matt played 7 minutes in our exhibition against UNO on Sunday due to foul trouble to our big men and injuries, and actually contributed two threes and received a loud ovation from the Qwest crowd when he got subbed out. He banked in his first three from the top of the key and it was hysterical. He was completely wide open for his next three from the corner, and the very next possession was completely wide open again from the other corner. (The ball was halfway down the hoop before coming out, I swear.) Matt's eyes were beaming brighter than the look on my face when my mother makes pot roast. Everyone was happy for the kid. Matt is actually going to start contributing to the blog some, so you'll get to know him a little better. But before Matt tells you a little bit about himself, I'm going to give you a synopsis on Matt through my eyes.
Matt Dorwart is 6'9'' and your chubby third-grade cousin Joseph probably weighs more than he does. Matt is thinner than Lindsay Lohan's drug dealer's drug dealer, and his feet hit the ground with a loud thump like a clydesdale every time he runs. However, dude can stroke. His jumpshot is more beautiful than the time Rachel McAdams embraced Ryan Gosling in the pouring rain, locking lips with him in The Notebook. (That was beautiful, admit it.) He's also got a nice array of moves around the basket and can "pick and pop" with the best of em. Matt's a redshirt freshman from Sidney, Nebraska and grew up milking Holsteins, driving the tractor with his dad, and dreaming of playing defense for the Blackshirts and Tommy O. (Just kidding.) I honestly don't know much of Matt's background, except for the fact that his parents must be transparent, because there is no other possible way Matt could be as white and pasty as he is. Anyway, he's a good dude and hopefully Jays fans will get a chance to know him a little better this year. Matt's going to tell you a little bit about himself and the squad in the next entry, so enjoy.
Also, if you can find anything funnier than Dick Vitale's Twitter (http://twitter.com/dickiev) and his excessive use of exclamation points, please let me know; because as of right now, not much can top it.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Introduction to Simple Plays
I started this blog, Simple Plays, for a multitude of reasons. I, Ross Ferrarini, currently play basketball for Creighton University and have experienced a lot of things in the past year and a half that fans would love to know about their favorite basketball teams. I use the word team in a plural sense because I played last season at the University of Nebraska before transferring back to my hometown of Omaha and Creighton University. Anyways, I am your source for behind-the-scenes Jays news and just an in-depth look at life as a Division 1 college basketball walk-on.
First off, I'm not your prototypical college athlete. I don't walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment, get away with things other students wouldn't get away with, and I most definitely do not look the part of Division 1 basketball player. As a matter of fact, I look the OPPOSITE of a Division 1 basketball player. I'm about as athletic as Kenny George, and I'm probably thinner than Lindsay Lohan's drug dealer. However, my jumpshot is sexier than your girlfriend's prom dress, and I play hard every possession I'm out there. (At least I think I do). I'm more like the average college student who happens to play basketball on the side. You can relate to me.
Secondly, the things that occur in a college basketball locker room day in and day out are absolutely outrageous. I will try to keep you updated of the outrageous happenings as much as possible. I consider myself a professional in deciphering Ebonics, so I can keep you updated on new words and phrases that come out hourly. There's probably a good chance I have a funny story or two for you every day.
Lastly, I just thought this would be a fun way to keep in touch with fans and enjoy the lighter side of college basketball. Sometimes we're all so caught up in how to cover ball screens, analyzing sophomore in high school's recruiting prospects, and seeing who has cooler looking tattoos of praying hands, that we forget it's just a game. Sorry for getting mushy on you, but it's the truth.
I decided to name this blog Simple Plays in dedication to my current basketball coach, Dana Altman. Actually, it's not really a dedication I just thought it was funny considering Coach Altman says, "Simple plays, fellas, simple plays," about 465 times a practice.
Anywho, I'm excited about this blog and hopefully you are too. I will leave with you a fantastic quote at the end of each entry. Mad props to whoever can successfully tell me who said this phenomenal quote: "What's living if you never pull your shorts down and slide on the ice Ren!?"
Good Day.
First off, I'm not your prototypical college athlete. I don't walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment, get away with things other students wouldn't get away with, and I most definitely do not look the part of Division 1 basketball player. As a matter of fact, I look the OPPOSITE of a Division 1 basketball player. I'm about as athletic as Kenny George, and I'm probably thinner than Lindsay Lohan's drug dealer. However, my jumpshot is sexier than your girlfriend's prom dress, and I play hard every possession I'm out there. (At least I think I do). I'm more like the average college student who happens to play basketball on the side. You can relate to me.
Secondly, the things that occur in a college basketball locker room day in and day out are absolutely outrageous. I will try to keep you updated of the outrageous happenings as much as possible. I consider myself a professional in deciphering Ebonics, so I can keep you updated on new words and phrases that come out hourly. There's probably a good chance I have a funny story or two for you every day.
Lastly, I just thought this would be a fun way to keep in touch with fans and enjoy the lighter side of college basketball. Sometimes we're all so caught up in how to cover ball screens, analyzing sophomore in high school's recruiting prospects, and seeing who has cooler looking tattoos of praying hands, that we forget it's just a game. Sorry for getting mushy on you, but it's the truth.
I decided to name this blog Simple Plays in dedication to my current basketball coach, Dana Altman. Actually, it's not really a dedication I just thought it was funny considering Coach Altman says, "Simple plays, fellas, simple plays," about 465 times a practice.
Anywho, I'm excited about this blog and hopefully you are too. I will leave with you a fantastic quote at the end of each entry. Mad props to whoever can successfully tell me who said this phenomenal quote: "What's living if you never pull your shorts down and slide on the ice Ren!?"
Good Day.
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