A New Scout Team Look and Utah Jazz Practice Shorts

Josh Jones has been promoted. As much as it disappoints me to say this and as much as it hurts me physically and emotionally...Josh Jones is no longer part of the Creighton University men's basketball scout team. Josh added many elements to our team. Mainly, an athletic black man, but more importantly, he added comedy at its finest and total oblivion as to what is deemed appropriate and inappropriate to say aloud. Ever since P'Allen's suspension, Josh has seen his minutes go from zero most every game to more than 20. And the thing is, he has more than made the most of his opportunity. Josh has scored at a very effective rate for us and has added a level of confidence and sense of pride and privilege that this team has sorely lacked. Josh's confidence has always been through the roof and that can sometimes be a good thing or a bad thing. Josh couldn't care either way. After all, this is a kid that once told me he thought he could beat Allen Iverson one on one. Yes, THE Allen Iverson. The scout team will sorely miss him.

Despite Josh's bittersweet absence from scout team, we didn't just sit around and hang our heads about the vacant wing absence from our team. We scouted vigorously for a replacement. Actually, not at all. Coach Altman just assigned freshman point guard Andrew Bock to join us for the remainder of the year. This moves Taylor Stormberg from the point guard position to the wing spot, and Andrew has taken over as our point guard. Things have gone swell ever since. I typically get to shoot more since You Know Who has left, and Andrew can typically break the starters' press by himself so I don't really ever have to help bring the ball up the court. My current duties allow me to just catch and shoot, really the only thing I'm good for.

Besides our new scout team, nothing terribly interesting has happened on the Jays homefront. Well, there has been a few things. Now what I'm about to tell you is going to seem so absurd and so ludicrous and so ridiculous, I should expect you to never have any respect for the KLAWSON ever again. Let it be known that I do like Kenny, and I often get a kick out of Kenny, but the man would explode on you if you were to tell him that one sock is about an inch higher on his leg than the other sock. He's like Bob Huggins should Huggins find out that one of his players isn't going to wear a headband for the upcoming game. Bottom line: Kenny freaks out for no apparent and sound reason whatsoever.

Exhibit A: The day before we played Evansville at home, I arrived at the Old Gym about an hour and a half before practice started to lift weights. (It's a hobby of mine.) Seeing as how our mananger, Brian, hadn't yet layed out our practice gear, I scavanged the locker room for any available pair of shorts that I could borrow from someone for the time being. As I glanced inside Kenny's locker, it became apparent that he multiple pairs of shorts. Most of the shorts were much too big for me, a pair of Jordan's even coming dangerously close to my ankles. There was, however, one pair of shorts that fit me particularly well...a nice pair of Adidas Utah Jazz practice shorts. I put on the shorts, went down to the weight room and went about my business. After I finished lifting, I was walking back up to the locker room when I saw Kenny. Kenny about didn't notice that I was wearing his shorts, but at the last possible moment before he went his way and I went mine, he asked if I was wearing his shorts in a tone that, quite frankly, didn't sound like Mother Theresa's.

"Yes Kenny," I said, "I am wearing your shorts." Kenny immediately became flustered and baffled and furious that someone else was wearing his pair of shorts.

"Those are my shorts!" Kenny replied, his blood pressure increasing more rapidly than Stan van Gundy's. "Don't wear my shorts Ross! Don't be going in my locker man, seriously put them back!!" Like I said, Kenny freaks out. I thought that was the end of it. As a matter of fact, I didn't put them back in Kenny's locker. I did him a favor and put them in the laundry basket so Brian could wash them.

The next day, before practice, Kenny asked again where the shorts were. I explained to him that I put the shorts in the laundry basket and that they were either in the laundry basket or in his locker at the Old Gym. (Practice was at the Qwest on this particular day.) Kenny wasn't pleased with this response, so he felt it was his right to tell me that I had to pay him for the shorts should the shorts be lost. That last statement is infuriating on many levels.

First off, the shorts aren't even Kenny's. They're Kaleb's. Why would anyone else on our team have a pair of Utah Jazz practice shorts? Oh yeahhhhh, Kaleb's brother plays for the Utah Jazz. Secondly, Kenny claims that Anthony Tolliver gave him the shorts. Funny he should mention that because, last time I checked, AT has never once been with the Utah Jazz organization, not even for a summer league team. Thirdly, how would they just be lost out of thin air? I put them in the laundry basket, thus Brian knows where they are. He wouldn't just lose the pair of shorts, and on the astronomical chance that Brian would lose the pair of shorts, it would be his responsibility for the shorts, not mine. Fourth, why would I have to pay him for a pair of shorts that a. aren't even his and b. even if they were his, he didn't pay for them, they just happened to be left behind in the locker room one day in the summer? The fact of the matter is, Kenny is absolutely out of his mind to think I would ever pay him for a pair of shorts.

The story doesn't end there. After Kenny's ludicrous statement about me potentially having to pay for the shorts, he bugged the rest of the day about where the shorts were, and to not go through his locker ever again. He promptly asked that I bring the shorts to the Qwest that night before the game. I told him I would. After speaking with Brian though, I realized the shorts were currently in Billy Walsh's possession because Brian thought that that is who the shorts belonged to. I arrived to the Qwest and immediately became bombarded with questions from Kenny as to the whereabouts of the shorts. I explained to him that Billy Walsh had them and he should talk to him about the shorts. You would've thought I bent the bill on Kenny's LA Dodgers fitted hat.

"Alright man, people think they can just go into other people's lockers and steal things from now on!!! I see how it is!!!"

It didn't stop there. He immediately went out onto the floor where Billy Walsh was warming up because, ya know, we have a game in like twenty minutes, and bombarded Billy with questions about the shorts. Billy was baffled as to what Kenny was even talking about. Now Brian is furious with Kenny for worrying about a pair of shorts twenty minutes before our game, and because, well, Kenny should've just asked Brian for the shorts in the first place and we could've avoided this entire debacle.

In any event, the shorts were, in fact, in Billy's locker, and Kenny could stop acting like somebody kidnapped a sibling of his and focus at the task at hand...our basketball game. Unreal. Moral of the story: Don't ever take anything as seriously as Kenny takes seriously a pair of NBA practice shorts. It's much added stress for everybody that isn't needed whatsoever. So next time you're thinking of BORROWING from someone else, think to this story and live by Coach Altman's motto...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.

Scout Team Woes

This past week in the college basketball world was wild and entertaining, to say the least. Number 1 Texas lost not only once, but twice, Chandler Parsons of Florida hit another game-winner, Tennessee got romped by Georgia, K-State lost to Oklahoma State a mere five days after knocking off Texas, and we dropped our tenth loss of the season at Illinois State on Wednesday. This is certainly the time of year when college basketball starts to heat up around the nation, and it should be interesting to see how many things shake up.

In Creighton news, scout team hasn't been near as fun as of late. We typically run through our opponents' stuff against the starters the day before the game, and that's normally my chance to show my athletic prowess and offensive skill set. However, lately we've only been running through scout team at "3 quarter's speed", which infuriates me on multiple levels. For starters, I can't show off my athletic prowess and skill set that I previously mentioned at "3 quarter's speed." Secondly, what does "3 quarter's speed" even mean? Do i sprint or do I jog? Do I try to embarrass the starters or do I give them a little bit of a break? Do I dunk or just simply lay it up? You get the picture. In any event, "3 quarter's speed" needs to go. It doesn't do any of us any good.

The second issue I've been having with scout team lately is the fact that Josh "No Filter" Jones gets the best roles for every team. He always gets the role of the other teams' best offensive player, and it normally wouldn't bother me since Josh is a scholarship player and the rest of us are walk-ons, so just by the elimination process it would appear that he would be most qualified for such a postition. However, it does bother me, because let's be honest here...Josh doesn't need any more incentive to shoot more as it is. Josh got up a fair amount of shots in high school, and as the old saying goes, Josh has never seen a shot he didn't like, so telling Josh he can shoot whenever he wants on scout team is a lot like telling Tiger Woods that there's never any such thing as too much sex. What's even more absurd about giving Josh these roles is the fact that Josh feels the need to tell you how much he's going to shoot. "I'm about to get buckets," and "I'm gonna 'hibachi' that dude" would probably have to be my favorites. Josh's facial expression upon hearing he was going to be Osiris Eldridge for Illinois State and could shoot any time he wanted is reminiscent of the look on Rad Tad's face upon seeing John Madden pull up to him on the Hall of Fame bus in Little Giants. Utter joy.

Well as I drown my sorrows in the disappoint that currently is Creighton men's basketball scout team, the rest of the team does have much more important matters at hand. Beating Missouri State today would help pull all of our dedicated fans back from the ledge and get us back to .500. We're currently 4-4 in conference play and are trying desperately to not play a Thursday night game in St. Louis. (Sidenote: I say "we" and "us"when describing the team because I am, in fact, a member of the team, but I have no direct impact on the outcome of our games whatsoever, so just disregard most of the we's and us's I use on the blog. You know what I mean.)

Hope to see you all at the game tonight and am going to end this blog with a shoutout to my good friend Johnny Beutler, for he has been begging for one for weeks. I told him it may be difficult to fit him in, considering so many shout-out requests flood my CU-mail every day, but I kept my word and am giving John Beutler a shout-out on the Simple Plays blog. Call me when you're famous Johnny, and always remember...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.

It's Business Time

Step back from the ledge. Please, for my sake, for your sake, for your daughter's sake (name that movie), step back from the ledge. Matt and I are back in business on the Simple Plays blog. Well, basically only me, but nevertheless, after a long, tumultous, and overdue hiatus of posts onto this blog, I will begin to post again. I apologize for such a long hiatus, and I know most of you have been e-mailing me and posting on my Facebook wall, demanding that I continue to post. Some of you have even dished out some violent threats my way, clearly upset at my lack of motivation towards the blog. (Joking of course). Honestly, the REAL reason I haven't posted since December 8th of the last decade is simply laziness. Now I could go off on a tangent giving excuse after excuse as to why I haven't posted since then, such as finals week, Christmas vacation, not wanting to get out my computer, playing an excessive amount of Mario 64, and spending too much time basking in my glory about 40-minute sessions of strictly defense in practice where I continue to get through ball screens like Dwight Freeney gets around the left tackle, BUT I would be lying to you. And that I cannot live with. I can't lie to my devoted fans and I cannot lie to myself. I have too much integrity.

Ok, secondly, the REAL reason my posting has been resurrected a la Jesus Christ himself is because I have to continue to post. Not for my own personal pleasure or some voice deep inside the depths of my soul that cries out that I need to post to make myself feel like I'm contributing to society in some way. No. I have been resurrected because my Journalism 215 class here at Creighton requires me to write a blog as one of the semester-long assignments in the class. So Simple Plays has new life and I'm more dedicated than ever to the blog. Mainly because my grade depends upon it, but still, dedication is now in full effect.

As the title suggests, it is business time ladies and gentlemen. As DJ Pauly D once said, "I don't even know what that religion is and I don't care; I just wanna get down to business." So let's get down to business. First off, some of you may be questioning my motives and originality with this blog due to the extreme popularity of Ohio State's Mark Titus' blog, Club Trillion. So it is currently time to clear a few things up. I, in no way, copied Mr. Titus in the creation of this blog or used his blog as inspiration or a jumping point for my blog. As a matter of fact, I had decided to start a blog about the outrageous things seen in a college locker room and seen through the eyes of a walk-on the day before I even discovered Club Trillion. And while I think Mr. Titus and his blog are hysterical, Simple Plays is wholly original and has a personality of its own.

Many things have happened in the world of the Jays throughout Simple Plays' hiatus. We've struggled this year. I know that, you know that, and the rest of the fanbase knows that. I have complete confidence we'll be dancing this year. Yes, you read that statement correctly. We're just now starting to figure out all of our roles and are starting to get that we need to play hard on a consistent basis to be able to win consistently. But you don't want to hear me be Coach Altman's parrott. You want the good stuff.

Where to even begin? Since my last post on Dec. 8th, we beat a couple of cupcakes, had an awesome three day Christmas break, and I got another four day break on top of that due to the team traveling to Indiana to play Indiana St. and Evansville. All in all, a phenomenal winter break for myself. And oh yeah, Billy Walsh about had a brawl at halfcourt with SIU's Nick Evans, Wayne Runnels almost overslept our game with Northern Iowa, and we got a massive new transfer by the name of Greg Echenique from Rutgers. Billy's near brawl completely energized our crowd and energized our team as we ended up beating our rivals in what was, basically, a must-win for us at the Qwest. One second I'm watching Nick Evans turn the ball over, and the next second I'm watching Billy sprint after Evans at halfcourt, all while going wild in Evans' face. Evans was ejected for striking Billy in the face.

Greg Echenique entered this world ready to dominate you either through his bad-ass Venezualen roots, his Suh-like frame, or his basketball skills. Take your pick. Although I've never seen Greg play; judging by his stats and the fact that he told Coach K he's coming to The O and he'd better recruit another Brian Zoubek instead of waste his time with him, I'd consider him a bad-ass and a good basketball player. Gregory just boosted the hell out of our scout team, and now I have someone to double-team ball screens with me effectively, so I'm pretty pumped. (Not that I need the help, but I'll take it from time to time). The only thing Gregory needs to learn is Coach Altman's most famous and mind-numbing quote...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.

Laziness, Old Spice Recap, and the 'Skers

So I'm deeply apologetic about the lack of updates onto the blog. This time, there isn't really an excuse. I was just way too lazy to bust out my computer and give my dedicated fans thrity minutes of my time so they can have a lifetime full of memories. So I apologize for my lack of dedication to his blog; you deserve better. I, however, do not apologize to those people who left our game against Nebraska early. I witnessed droves of people headed for the gates Sunday with less than a minute to go and the competition no more than a six point game. Unacceptable. By the time you get to the car and get settled and rev the engine, the game has probably ended and there's bound to be people who happened to park in front of you in the parking garage, so therefore there is bound to be some people who watched the end of the game and got to their car before you even started your car even though you left early. This means that you basically will not get the head start on traffic that you anticipated because there is always bound to be people who parked much closer to the exit than you did. Therefore, quit leaving games early. It does nobody any good.

As most of you probably know, we struggled at the Old Spice Classic in Orlando. No, like we struggled. As in Eighth Place struggled. Dead last. Yikes. We lost a heartbreaker in overtime to Michigan, got blown out by Xavier, and lost to Iona in the ever so inspirational Seventh Place game. My awesome Thanksgiving of doing nothing suddenly morphed into school combined with hellish practices. Practice ended up not being as hard as I had thought, and we started to focus on getting out of a 2-4 slump and gearing up for my former runnin' mates, Nebraska. Scout team was a breath of fresh air for me. I remembered the old motion offense well and most of the sets so I just went out and played ball. Fun times.

The day of the game was pretty fun for me as I got to see and talk to all the managers I was friendly with and all the assistant coaches and whatnot from Nebraska. It was definitely good to see all those guys again. Then the game got rolling and The Klawson (Kenny's license plate is KLAWSON) had himself a Klawsome game (I'm sorry that was terrible). 25 points and ten boards for the big fella as we ended up handing the children of corn a 67 61 defeat at the Qwest. Surprisingly, the game wasn't even sold out, but I'm sure Husker fans were still feeling the effects of Hunter Lawrence's game-winning field goal and were drinking themselves away in the abyss of a Jerry Jones restaurant in the middle of the Dallas airport. (For the record, I'm a Husker football fan and was deeply disappointed in the outcome of that game. For those of you diehard Jays fans, if that makes me a "Jaysker," as you guys like to call them, then so be it. Until Creighton brings out the helmets and quarterback sleeves from the depths of the basement in the Old Gym, I will continue to be a Husker football fan).

Not the Old Spice Classic, not our win over Nebraska, not the dramatic Texas win over Nebraska in the Big XII Championship; no, the most interesting and intriguing thing to happen to me in the last two weeks was a prank phone call from...you guessed it: Dana Altman. I discussed this two posts ago about the BlackBerry application and the prank phone calls to Kenny that would show up as Coach Altman's number. Well, Coach Altman striked again over Thanksgiving. I received a call from him around roughly 12:30 a.m. and knowing this vulgar and irresponsible activity much too well, did not answer. A voicemail was left and said, "Hey ross, Coach Altman here. Uh just wanted to tell you to tuck your ****** string in. Happy Thanksgiving." For those of you left bewildered as to what that means, well, Coach Altman's pet peeve is if your string is untucked on your practice shorts. No, I'm not joking. Casey Harriman is quoted as saying, "It bothers me that it bothers him so much." Me too, Casey, me too. Although it was absolutely hysterical, I did not appreciate the prank call and am still somewhat, sorta looking for the culprits even though I have a strong vibe I already know they are. But I will press on.

Finally, I'll end this lengthy post with a gem of a Josh Jones quote. In World Literature class last week, our professor, Fr. Kestermeier posed the question as to what a gurdle was. Josh proceeded to raise his hand and said, and I quote, "Uh yeah, in my personal opinion, I think a gurdle is worn by girls that got a lotta bootydo." The entire class beffudled as to what the term "bootydo" meant, Josh explained that, "bootydo mean that she got more stomach than her booty do." I couldn't make this up if I tried. So to all of those women out there wearing gurdles because of their "bootydo"...Simple Plays, ladies, simple plays.

Turkey, Basketball, and Black Friday.

My thanksgiving break has been phenomenal thus far. As I've previously mentioned, since the team is Orlando and since I'm not allowed to play this year (the NCAA is trying to keep as many of us talented stars in college as possible, and hey, I can't blame them really; it's tough being this talented and have to be relegated to the college game), I've had multiple days of doing nothing here in Omaha, and I have enjoyed it immensely. I'll give you a little run down of my break and the team's break so far:

Tuesday- Me: Went to class and then had a fabulous lunch at Noodles and Co. Ran some errands with my buddy Ben, and then proceeded to go home and watch the first four episodes of the first season of Entourage. Saw Couples Retreat that night. Team: Traveled to Orlando for three hours and most likely didn't have much time to themselves Tuesday. Bummer.

Wednesday- Me: Woke up and watched TV. Went to lunch with my dad, then came home and watched some more TV. I did manage to go workout at Westside late afternoon then hung out with some friends that night. Team: Practiced during the day and had to shoot free throws and go over Michigan's stuff. In bed early.

Thursday- Me: Woke up and watched our game on ESPN2. Rough loss. I thought we played well, but in the end, a little too much Manny Harris. After the game I went to Westside and played 2 on 2 with my younger brother, my 47 year old father, and younger cousin. My cousin and I vs the bad guys. You don't need to ask nor do I need to tell you who won. You should already know that answer. After the heated 2 on 2 match, which had to be cut short because my dad's knees function worse than my dead grandfather's, it was time to grub. Had myself some turkey, mashed potatoes, and the finest Stuffing this side of Zorinsky Lake. The fam concluded the night by going to see The Blind Side. Team: Woke up and played the 15th ranked team in the nation. Needless to say, my day and their's were much different.

Friday- Me: Woke up early and went shopping with my mother. No, I'm not joking. Fantastic deals at Younkers. Ended up getting a $200 coat marked down to $60 and a nice pair of jeans. Good work Ross. Watched our disappointing game against Xavier and watched the Big Twelve North champs take care of Ralphie. Team: Played Xavier.

So, as you can see, my break and the team's break have been somewhat different. Hopefully, the guys in Orlando can bounce back and get us back to.500 with a win over Iona Sunday. Been a rough couple days for them down there. We play the 'Skers next Sunday at the Qwest, which should be rockin. Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving and I hope your break has been as lazy as mine has. As always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.

Nearing Orlando and Thanksgiving

As most of you already know, the squad is traveling to Orlando, Florida on Tuesday to play in the popular and competitive Old Spice Classic. First up on the slate is 15th ranked Michigan, who is currently 2 and 0 against teams you've more than likely never heard of. Nonetheless, Michigan is athletic, talented, and well coached. Guard Mannie Harris has a legitimate shot at being a first round draft pick in the upcoming NBA Draft, so we'll have our hands full. However, before we move on to Orlando, we have to take care of business against Arkansas-Little Rock this afternoon. UALR beat us at their place last season and out-rebounded us by twenty, so all that's been talked about all week in practice is "we gotta pop somebody on our blockouts fellas," courtesy of Coach Altman. I wish I could get out there and crack some skulls and gravitate to the ball like Dennis Rodman gravitates towards the ball and drugs, but I can't, so no sense in wishing what if.

In more interesting news, Justin Carter cut off his ever so popular and symbolic dreadlocks yesterday afternoon. Besides the fact he now looks like Josh Jones and I thought we had added a new player to our team when I first saw him, it's a nice, new look for Justin. Josh Jones, in fact, took Justin to his barber and said, "my barber was gettin at J dawg." Translation: Josh's barber was making fun of and playing around with Justin as he was cutting his long locks. Amongst the many comparisons Josh's barber made between Justin and other pop culture icons as his hair was getting shorter and shorter by the minute, I thought the funniest were '98 Kobe and Jaleel White, who played Steve Urkel in Family Matters. People will be shocked when they see Justin at the game today. Whoopi Goldberg, as Cavel calls him, has retired.

Amongst all of the crap Kenny Lawson has to put up with from everyone on the team day in and day out, today's version of crap was probably one of the most hysterical. Evidently, if you have a BlackBerry, you can call people from other people's numbers in your phone book. I have no clue how it works, but you can call someone and it will show up on the caller id on their phone as someone else's number. Seeing this as a phenomenal opportunity to prank call Kenny, Chad Millard (Chad wants his alias to be known as Billy Walsh, and yes, I know that the purpose of an alias is so that nobody will know who you really are, but you wouldn't understand anything if I started calling Chad Billy Walsh from now on without giving you a head's up first, so from now on, Chad's new name and alias (sort of) on this blog will be, Billy Walsh) and Casey Harriman prank called Kenny as Coach Altman, which Kenny didn't pick up on the first three times he answered, or he is just dumb enough to continually pick up the phone when it, clearly, is not Coach Altman. The final time Kenny answered the phone, Billy Walsh and Casey claimed that they were Casey's grandmother, finally sending Kenny into an outrage, claiming Billy and Casey were liars and that it wasn't Coach Altman, nor was it Casey's grandmother, on the other end of the phone (Ya think, Kenny?). Kenny was ranting in the locker room at this morning's shootaround about how somebody prank called him claiming they were Coach Altman, and without any anonymous tips, blamed the horrific event on Billy and Casey. The two culprits stood firm, however, and Kenny couldn't come up with a solution as to who was, in fact, the infamous Altman caller. I'm sure there will be many more Altman to Kenny pranks in the future, so I will try to keep you updated as much as possible.

As I end this most recent post, I encourage you to support the squad over thanksgiving in Orlando and cheer your blue little hearts for the Jays!!!!!!!!!! Yay!! No, but seriously, please do. I will leave you with this absurdly hilarious YouTube clip of Leon, the African-American man currently living with Larry David on the past couple of seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm, in the Best of Leon. Enjoy, and as always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.

Sharpshooting Newbies

I know what you're thinking..."Thank the sweet Lord because I couldn't last another day without this hysterical, witty, charming, and surprisingly yummy blog." Ross is finally updating the beyond popular Simple Plays blog, ladies and gentlemen. I apologize to all of my devoted fans who have been in agony since last Thursday just simply waiting for an update to give happiness and hope to their lives. Thing is, my computer became overrun with more viruses than an Atlantic City hooker, so I had to take it to the phenomenal people at DoIt Computer Repairs on Creighton's campus. It took a few days, but I finally got her back tonight, so I can end your agony. Yet again, I apologize for the week long absence.

Anyways, back to basketball. As most of you probably know, we lost at Dayton last Saturday afternoon 90 80. We came out strong and even held a ten point lead at one point in the first half. In the end, we couldn't muster enough stops to stop the high flying Flyers. (Ha! Pun intended. I crack myself up. By the way, how'd you like my coachspeak?) Although we lost the first game on the slate, we redeemed ourselves Tuesday night by beating the Florida A&M Rattlers 78 53 at the Q. (Sorry Cavs fans.) We've had a couple of pleasant surprises to start the season: Ethan Wragge and Darryl Ashford. I'm too lazy to look up the stats, but they've both scored more than ten points in each of our two games, respectively. Ethan has made five of his first seven threes and I want to say Darryl has made at least five threes so far too. Again, too lazy to look up stats, so feel free to correct me. (Because I know how you people like to flood the blog with comments and thoughts.) Let's get to know Darryl and Ethan a little better, shall we?

Ethan Wragge came out of his mother's womb already launching more three's than your average Over-40 men's city league game. The sharpshooter from Eden Prairie, Minnesota has a gift from the big Man above. I don't think I've personally witnessed a better shooter in my life. I also don't think I've ever seen the kid take a dribble, but hey, neither does Dwight Howard and he turned out alright, didn't he? Ethan should have a fantastic career at CU and could challenge Kyle Korver's all-time three's mark, which is pretty impressive.

Darryl Ashford's game is smoother than a Soulja Boy rap song and his hops are even crazier. Which you wouldn't know if you saw the way he runs up and down the floor. It's almost like he already needs a hip replacement. It's painful for me to watch him run; I can't imagine what it's actually like for him to be doing it. However, despite the fact Chaz Bono could probably beat Darryl in a race (0r myself, for that matter), he has sneaky hops and and a sneaky jumpshot. As a matter of fact, he's probably one of the best leapers on the team, and he seems to almost float in mid-air, reaching higher and higher every second before he dunks. Also, if I had a dollar for every time Darryl said, "You fresh," I think I'd have enough money to out-fresh Paris Hilton. So that's Darryl Ashford in a nutshell. Slow, sneaky athletic, and fresh.

Practice has been, for the most part, fairly unentertaining lately. I've been getting an absurd amount of stops during scout team defense, but I always do that, so that's not really news now is it? We had to condition after practice today, and let's just say I can think of 168,987 more things I'd rather be doing than "foot fires." Anyways, hopefully I owned my philosophy test and as always...Simple plays, fellas, simple plays.